The Awesomely Awesome Valentine's Day Special!
by AtomicScribble
Summary: In which I make fun of several popular pairings, as well as my own. Rated T for innuendo, language, OOC, and general fluffy stupidity. Happy Valentine's Day!


Oh look. A pile of stuffed animals.

Or, rather.

A pile of stuffed people plushies and animals. A Tokunaga, Sephiroth, Mike Teavee, several Jade's, a crappy looking Malvolio, and different versions of the Phantom of the Opera were visible among other things.

Suddenly Scribble popped out from among the plushies. "HIYA GUYS. Welcome to Scribble's crazy googly fluffy gushy Valentine's Day Spedcial Special! Or SCGFGVDSS if you are in need of a shorter title."

She walked out and started to explain everything when suddenly Indigo ran her over.

"CANDY!" she yelled. "It's Valentine's Day and I want CANDY!"

Despite being trampled over by 90 pounds of joy-filled crack, Scribble popped right back up.

"SEE THAT? I'm indestructable! I've never broken a bone in my life! AHAHAHA well, anyway."

She brushed herself off, straightened her glasses, and looked regal.

"I will now do short spoofs of all the pairings EVER. Well, at least the more popular ones and ones I've done. This will most likely be exceedingly long and pointless, so unless you are a die-hard fan of mine, I suggest you leave."

Everyone starts to leave.

"NO WAIT ARGH whatever!" She threw her hands up in frustration. "Start the show, dammit! OH, and I don't own anyone here except for Holli, Tori, Indigo (who just plowed me over) and Shinobu. The rest of them are copyrighted to their respectful owners. There are also some pairings I will brush over because of the sheer amount of them."

The writer exhaled. "WOW, I never thought I'd say that aloud...and THIS IS A JOKE. No flamie! I'm making fun of myself and the serieses that are mentioned. All in good fun, readers, all in good fun."

**Phantom of the Opera! DUUUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUUN, DA DA...**

ErikChristine

"I actually love you, Erik!"

"That's great to know, Angel!"

"I love you, let's make bebiez!"

"SURE!"

-insert crazy Phantom sex here-

NINE MONTHS LATER.

"Waaugh."

"It's a girl, Erik!"

"That's awesome."

"Really?"

"...let's make more."

"HELL NO."

Christine dies at the thought of more crazy Phantom sex. Erik weeps, kills himself, the end.

RaoulChristine

"Would you like to be rich AND loved?"

"PERFECT!"

"Now we can leave that freak and go somewhere else!"

"What freak? You?"

Raoul facepalms himself while Christine tilts her head in confusion.

"NO, I mean the Phantom! He's tormenting you! Let's move to New York!"

"NEW YORK? But the Yankees are there!"

"The Yankees are sexy!"

Here Christine throws herself off a building because she is clearly a Red Sox fan. Raoul weeps, kills himself, the end.

ErikRaoul

"Erik, I love you."

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME?"

Both kill themselves out of embarrasment. The end.

Erik/Tori

"Y halo thar"

"Why is this man talking in chatspeak to me?"

"u r hve prty Is"

"...what?"

"mry me"

Tori kills herself because her precious mind can't deal with a chatspeakin' Erik. Erik weeps, kills himself virtually, the end.

ErikMeg

"We never met, want to get married?" Meg asked.

But it turns out that Erik had already killed himself due to the loss of Christine. So Meg weeps, kills herself too, the end.

**Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Because the new version is sexah.**

WonkaCharlie

"It's my 18 birthday. Or is it 16th? I don't know because the writers make me a different version every time." Charlie gives a thumbs-up.

Wonka gives Charlie a suggestive look. "Oh really now."

"...sex?"

"Yup."

Both go into a seperate room, Charlie gets pregnant because he's the uke, the end.

HolliMike

"I like video games."

Holli nods. "Yupyup, me too."

"...virtual sex?"

"When we're older. Health class is rather graphic about STD's."

When they're "older", they go into a seperate room, Holli gets pregnant because she's female, the end.

**Corpse Bride! It's your classic googly love story with a happy ending, except with dead people.**

VictorVictoria

"Aren't we supposed to be married anyway?"

"Oh, well, the movie ends with us anyway."

Before they can kiss, though, both of them get run over by horses. The end.

VictorEmily

"I'm dead, marry me!" Emily glomptackles Victor.

"You scare me! Whatever!"

Before they can kiss, though, Barkis drives a carriage over their bodies and they die. The end. Wait, Emily was already dead-

**The Nightmare Before Christmas! The official movie of Scribble's childhood!**

JackSally

"I love you, Sally." Jack kissed Sally on the cheek.

"I love you too, Jack!" Sally grinned a very ragdoll-like smile.

"Let's get married."

At the ceremony, Oogie Boogie sprayed Cool Whip out of a Supersoakers gun and the marriage was called off. The end.

**Kingdom Hearts! Complete with delicious, non-explained phenomena!**

SoraKairi

"We've been friends for forever! We should be a couple!"

Kairi nodded happily. "Yes, we should!"

So that's why Riku went to the darkside. It's because they had free hookers. The end.

RikuKairi

"Ditch Sora, go with me!" Riku grinned and hugged Kairi in an OOC way.

"Why? You don't have a Keyblade!"

"Yes, I do!"

It turns out it was cursed by free hookers, and it possesed him, turning him into Tom Cruise. Kairi thinks Tom Cruise is hot, so she went with him. The end.

SoraRiku

"We're both guys, you know."

"Still, that doesn't change anything."

"More free hookers for us!"

So Sora and Riku got married somewhere and lived in a huge house with a lot of free hookers. The end.

AxelRoxas

Axel did a dance. "Yei, new Organization member! Marry me!"

Roxas snapped out of his emoness enough to say, "But we don't have hearts."

"That means we can cheat on each other for free hookers and the other wouldn't care."

"OK!"

So they cheated on each other for dozens of free hookers and vice versa. The end.

AxelDemyx

"Water!"

"Fire!"

Long pause here.

"STEAM!"

So both of them had a steam love together (wow, that sounds so bad; that's not meant to mean sex) and then went and made steam with free hookers. The end.

RikuYuffie

"We never met in the game," Riku mumbled.

"SO?" all the fangirls and Yuffie yelled.

"...ok."

So Riku got married with Yuffie and they had seven bebiez before Riku revealed that he had actually been dating a free hooker all the time. Yuffie took it the wrong way and dumped him. The end.

XemnasSaix

"Number Seven."

"Yes, Superior?"

"I love you."

"...we don't have hearts. How could you say that?"

But it turns out Saix loved Xemnas anyway. And free hookers too. The end.

**Tales of Symphonia! Full of angel angst and shit like that!**

LloydColette

"This pairing is almost canon, like Sora and Kairi."

Lloyd gave Colette a kiss. "Hush and let's be stupid together."

The two idiots went prancing off into the sunset, singing some happy Disney song. The end.

KratosRaine

Kratos approached Raine. "I know I already had a kid through angel sex with someone else, but I think your ruin-obsession is sexy."

"Really?" Raine hugged Kratos. "Thank you!"

The two went prancing off into the sunset. On Noishe. With cans on strings attatched to his tail even though they never got married. The end.

MithosGenis

"Genis, I love you."

"As a friend?" Genis asked cheerfully.

"...no, as a lover."

"Oh, then that's ok."

The two went flying off into the sunset even though Genis doesn't know what love is Mithos is extremely old, and neither know what Genis' name rhymes with. The end.

KratosLloyd (Caroline's idea used in here)

"Lloyd, I'm your father. Let's have some hot yaoi action."

"What the hell is yaoi?"

"Who cares."

The two ran off into the sunset to escape the crazy fangirl papparazzi. Because incest has a high market in the fan community. Ew. The end.

**Final Fantasy XII! The Vieras are hookers in disguise! It's true!**

VaanPenelo

Penelo danced around. "Do you like my dancing, Vaan?"

Vaan was too busy looking at a Playboy magazine to look up. "Yeah, I do."

"Do you like me?"

"Yeah, I do!"

But it turns out he was only talking to some babe in the magazine. The end.

BalthierFran

"Would you like to be my partner in sky pirating, Balthier?" Fran asked quietly.

Balthier was too busy looking at a Playboy magazine to look up. "Indeed. That sounds good."

"...erm, you know I love you, correct?"

"I love you too."

Fran smiled, but it turns out he was only talking to some babe in the magazine. The end.

BalthierPenelo

"Wow, Balthier, I like your airship!" Penelo said one fine, bright day.

"You do?" Balthier asked, looking up from his Playboy magazine.

"Yes, I do!"

Balthier gave a suggestive look. He had been reading too much porno. The end.

LarsaPenelo

"Good day, Penelo. I present you with some Playboy magazines."

"Wow, where did you get these?"

"My brother's room."

So the two youngins spent the rest of the day reading Playboy magazines. The end.

BalthierAshe

"You're rather cute for a thief, Balthier." Ashe said cheerily, but in a regal way.

"Mm," Balthier said, not looking up from his millionth Playboy magazine of the day.

"Want to get married?"

He jumped up from his seat. "Hell yes!"

But it turns out he was talking to some yaoi picture some fangirl had taped in there. The end.

VayneLarsa

"What? But we're brothers."

Larsa was highly disturbed that his brother was talking dirty to him, but it turns out he was just talking to some babe in a Playboy magazine. The end.

**Final Fantasy VII! The best opportunity for yaoi, RP gaming, and chunky, old school graphics!**

SephirothCloud

"But I hate you," Cloud whined.

"So do I. But I'm being paid ten dollars for this."

So they made out in front of all sorts of fangirls and fanboys. The end.

CloudAerith (or Aeris)

"You're going to die, you know..."

"Even more reason to get married now!"

So they made out and got married in front of all sorts of fangirls and fanboys. The end.

CloudTifa

"I love you even more than Aerith or Aeris or whatever, Tifa."

"Really?"

"Even though your boobs are sort of obnoxiously huge."

So they made out in front of all sorts of fangirls and fanboys. The end.

SephirothShinobu (SS? Super Seth!)

"You know, I'm going to trap you and have sex with you, whether you like it or not."

"...um...ok, I guess..."

So they made out in front of...no one? The...end?

**Tales of the Abyss! Crazy gender confused males ahoy!**

GuyLuke

"I'm afraid of guys, so I like you!"

"That's awesome! But I'm a replica!"

Well, that was just too bad for them, so they bought candy. The end.

LukeTear

"I think Melodioists are hot."

"Is that even how you spell it, Luke?" Tear rolled her eyes, but she gave him a kiss anyway.

"Shut up, hot lady!" And then they went and bought candy. The end.

JadeDist

"I hate you. Let's get married."

"But I'm already engaged to this here fonic machine!" Dist whimpered.

Well, that was too bad for Jade, so he went and bought some candy to ease his soul. The end.

PeonyJade

"Want to get 'married', Jade? I hope you don't mind if the rappigs stay in the room."

"AW HELL NO!"

So Peony, disappointed, got some candy instead. The end.

-----------------

Scribble counted all the pairings.

"Well, I think that's it. Wow, that took forever. Sorry if your favorite pairing wasn't in here, but there were a lot to start with, so yeah. I might do a sequel or something, but I definitely know I'll do this next year."

She waved.

"Enjoy your candy and luff!"


End file.
